Loss and Gain
by Magical Kitty
Summary: A single tear slid down her cheek. The first tear related to their deaths. It finally became real to her. They were gone. Gone. And nothing she could do could bring them back. One-shot Hints at future LeeSaku, but this is mostly just a developing friendship. Probably overly sappy but oh well :D


**A/N: Why hello! So, on my last story I said I was going to upload any future stories on my new account. Well, that didn't work out because I forgot the email address I used. Blah. But I'm working on another fanfiction and hopefully that will go on there. For now, here's another LeeSaku one-shot! A really sappy one, probably. But that's okay, because I enjoy sap. I tried my best to make them as in-character as possible. Let me know what you think :D **

**Also, I have very little understanding of the grieving process, so I apologize if I portray it in an unrealistic manner.**

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The morning sun was low in the sky. It seemed almost lazy; it had the strength to get up, but not quite enough to get to the top of the sky. There were no clouds that day. Most of the villagers of Konoha were outside, enjoying themselves by going out for a walk in the park, going shopping, or going out for brunch.

There was one kunoichi, however, who was not taking part in such amusements.

Sakura Haruno was sitting deep within the graveyard. A large oak tree just a few yards to her right provided shade from the warm spring sun. Her eyes were fixated on the two graves that stood in the ground in front of her.

_Naruto... Sasuke-kun..._ She thought in her mind sadly. She also silently cursed the weather for not accurately representing her feelings. She felt like it was mocking her; couldn't it have been rainy or something this day? Why did it have to feel so happy outside when her insides were shattered? There should be some sort of law.

But she wasn't crying. She hadn't cried at all; not even the day her two teammates killed each other. She was too shocked to cry, and that shock sustained. Some even said she was still in denial. After the day of the funeral service, she made a silent promise to herself that she would keep coming back to visit their graves. She didn't know how long she would keep doing it, but somehow, she desperately wanted to remind them and herself that she would always be there for them, even after death.

_Thank you guys... for everything..._ A small, sad smile graced the sixteen-year-old's lips. _I hope I can return the favor._ She sat there for a while as she let her mind become flooded with memories of the three of them. From their first meeting, to defeating Zabuza and Haku, to the Chunin exams, to Sasuke's betrayal, to Naruto's 2-year leave to train, to the Great Shinobi War, to now. And all the times they've been together in between. Some were good. Really good. Some were horrible and almost led to death. She knew that as ninjas, they lived with the expectation that they could die at any moment, but she didn't expect them to die the way they did. She didn't expect that their last meeting would truly be their last. She didn't expect Sasuke to be that far down the path of hatred and revenge. She didn't expect that Naruto was that determined to keep his promise. She didn't expect both of them to kill each other and leave her alone.

"Sakura-san?" It was a soft voice, but it was still enough to snap the girl out of her thoughts. She looked up and saw Lee, who was standing next to her and looking into her face. She wondered how long he had been standing there. His bushy eyebrows were pulled up in concern, and she could see sadness etched onto his face as well. Lee was close to Naruto, and though he didn't like Sasuke very much, he at least respected him somewhat for being a formidable opponent.

"Lee-san," she replied. From her tone, he could tell that she was surprised to see him. He sat down next to her. "Did you come here to pay your respects again?" Lee looked down at the ground, then at her.

"Yes. But I also came here because I knew I would find you here, and I was worried about you." She offered him a smile, hoping that it would reassure him, but he knew it wasn't a genuine one.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine. I mean, sure, I'm still a little sad about it, but-"

"Sakura-san, I know you have been coming here every day." Her eyes widened. "The day after the funeral, I made it a point to run by here every morning as part of my training. I... I noticed you here each time. At first I did not say anything to you, in order to give you time to grieve. But it has been about a month now. I do not see you around the village."

"I-I do other things too! It's not like I'm here all the time! I still work at the hospital, and I've been training." She said all of this rather defensively. He was quiet for a few moments.

"I once overheard Tsunade-sama say that you have not been performing your duties to the best of your abilities. Also, it looks like you have lost weight and muscle mass." She bit her lip.

"Oh, really? I didn't notice." She said while smiling nervously and shrugging. She was being truthful; she didn't notice these things herself, but she knew Lee wouldn't lie to her. He assessed her appearance once more: her hair had lost some shine, her eyes had dark circles underneath them, her skin was slightly more pale, and of course the weight loss that he already addressed. She may call herself fine, but her body said otherwise.

"Sakura-san." His eyes pleaded with her. "I want you to be honest with me. I know you are having a hard time moving on, and if you need help-"

"I don't!" She said angrily. His offer was a blow to the dam that barred her tears. "I don't need your help, or anyone else's. I can do it myself." She hated it when others saw her as a defenseless little girl. "I'm not weak, you know..."

"I know you are not weak. But we all go through hard times." Another blow. She didn't know how or why, but to her it felt like he had trivialized the situation.

"Do you even know what it's like," she almost seethed, "to lose the people closest to you?" Her emotions were starting to slip out of her control. She hated herself right now. She hated herself for directing her anger and sadness at Lee, and she hated how quickly she had gone from fake happiness to true anger. Most of all, she hated herself for not being able to stop Naruto and Sasuke that day. She tried to keep it together, but she felt so fragile. The simplest things Lee said were enough to crack the shell she had made herself, and she was afraid that if he stayed any longer, it would break, exposing the contents within.

"I... I do not." He replied to her question. "My parents were killed, but I was very young. Too young to understand what it means to lose someone." She flinched.

"I'm sorry, Lee... Look, please just leave. I don't feel stable right now, and I don't want to take any more anger out on you."

"I do not mind."

"Lee, I'm serious..."

"Sakura, I really want to help you."

"I'm fine, Lee." Her eyes were closed. She was doing her best to keep herself under control, but it wasn't working. She felt like a pot that was about to boil, or a cloud that was about to rain.

"I do not think you are." He said this with such authority. It made her almost livid.

"And what makes you think I'm not?!" Lee's reply had a hint of desperation to it.

"Because they died almost a month ago and you still come here every morning and stare endlessly at their graves! Like you expect them to come back!" The dam broke. A single tear slid down her cheek. The first tear related to their deaths. It finally became real to her. They were gone.

_Gone._

And nothing she could do could bring them back.

She drew her knees to her chest and hugged them while biting her tongue. Anything to keep more tears from flowing. It was no use; more and more of the hot, salty liquid found a way to squeeze out of her eyes, urging her to surrender to them. She started shaking. Lee was conflicted; he was inwardly panicking, yet he was also relieved that she was no longer putting up a front with him.

"Sakura-san, please forgive me if my words were harsh..." She bit her tongue so hard that she drew blood. Tentatively, Lee began to put his arm around her small frame.

What she did next, he didn't expect.

As soon as she felt his touch, she collapsed onto his chest, finally giving into how she truly felt. He fell back against the tree behind him. His eyes widened and a considerably and a faint blush painted his cheeks, despite the situation. She clung onto the sleeves of his green jumpsuit as she wept bitterly into his Chunin vest, not really caring about anything other than washing away the pain through her tears. All of the sadness that she had been concealing this month was finally being released. Every night where she denied herself the luxury of crying was being made up for right now. Lee's own heart broke with each mournful sob that escaped her lips, with each quivering breath she drew.

He hated to see someone he loved in this much pain. Why did he have to come? Why didn't he just leave her the way she was: blissfully in denial?

_Because I love her too much, _he thought. His own answer satisfied him. He wrapped his arms around the girl's small frame and held her tightly. He rocked her back and forth gently and murmured comforting words in her hair, but he doubt she heard him. He would stay like that forever if that's what he had to do to help her feel better.

After crying for a few minutes, it suddenly struck Sakura that she hadn't had proper sleep in days. Lee's warm, comforting embrace and the small rocking motion was enough to make her feel suddenly sleepy. She liked this. She let herself slowly surrender to this sweet feeling. The wave of tears finally began to subside. She felt his bandaged hand stroke her cherry blossom hair softly, which only hastened her trip to dreamland. With no second thought, she allowed herself to fall asleep in his arms.

-x-

Judging from the height of the sun, Lee could tell that it had been more than an hour since she fell asleep. It didn't concern him too much. In a somewhat lackadaisical way, he continued to play with her hair between his fingertips. He couldn't help but stare at her as she lay asleep against him. This was Sakura; _Sakura Haruno_, the girl of his dreams, laying in his arms! Well, arm. He mentally slapped himself a bit for thinking so selfishly like this while she was in pain, but he couldn't help it. His gaze focused in on her face, which was partially covered by his Chunin vest. She looked so peaceful; like she had abandoned all of her cares in whatever world she was in right now. He moved his hand from her hair and had it in his mind to gently run his thumb across her eyelashes, but her eyes flew open instantly as she felt his touch. She sat up quickly when she realized she was on him. He once again cursed himself for allowing his romantic feelings to take over him like that.

"P-Please excuse me, Sakura-san! I did not mean to wake you." The boy pleaded.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... to fall apart." She said quietly. "And to fall asleep on you."

"It is alright. I hate to see you cry, but I think you needed it." She yawned.

"I'm still sleepy... I haven't slept well lately..." She was about to stand up, but Lee eagerly stood to his feet first and extended a hand toward her. She rolled her eyes a little and grabbed his hand, letting herself be pulled up by him.

"Would you like me to walk you home, Sakura?" He asked her. She smiled warmly and looked into his eyes. A blush appeared on his cheeks; he could tell this was a real smile.

"Okay." Suddenly, she stepped closer to him and hugged him. "Thank you for everything." She whispered. She took comfort in the fact that he was there when her façade crumbled down. She liked that she could sob and sob and sob but he didn't judge her, not once. He only held her in a pleasant embrace and let her cry. That meant the world to her. Lee blushed slightly at her hug and he returned it.

"I will always be here for you," he told her honestly. "I know I did not play the biggest role in your life; not as big as Naruto-kun or Sasuke-kun, but..." At that, she softly placed her lips on his cheek and stepped back, causing his sentence to trail off as his cheeks turned crimson and his eyes grew wide. He stared at her.

"Maybe not, but you were always the one who gave me the final push I needed to better myself. And for that, I thank you. It's going to be hard to move forward, but I think I'm going to be okay." A small smile spread on her lips even though a few stray tears escaped from her eye. Lee brought a finger to her face and wiped each one away.

"I know you will." He even gave her the "nice guy pose" to seal the deal. With that, the two took another look at the graves before them and walked away, the high noon sun shining brightly on them.


End file.
